Things You Should Say and Not Say to a Depressed Person

Knowing how to help a loved one who is suffering from depression are two very different things. We must communicate with empathy. Getty ImagesGuide On What To Say And Not To Say In These Sensitive Situations

Things to Say

1. “I’m here for you.” Sometimes just knowing that someone is out there can be so comforting.
2. “It’s okay to feel this way.” It shows your kids that you are in this with them, and they aren’t doing it alone.
3. “You are not a burden.” Depressed people often fear that you are a burden. Letting re-assure the feelings.
4. “I care about you.” Your concern matters. This note can be encouraging.
5. “How can I support you?” Providing assistance that caters to their needs indicates a genuine willingness to lend them hands.
6. “Talk whenever you want to. Give them opportunities for open dialogue but also give them space if that’s what they require.
7. “You are strong.” Acknowledging their strength as only add to greater self belief .
8. “It’s okay to seek help.” Prompt them to seek professional help, if they have not already.
9. “I’m just a text away.” Allowing them to feel like they can reach you will bring comfort in a time of loneliness.
10. Dont ever forget to be good for yourself. Bringing it to their attention with kind words can help.

Things Not to Say

1. “Just think positive!” It is not turning a switch. Maybe, but this comes off as a bit patronising.
2. “Others have it worse.” Your pain is your own — comparing hurt can be triggering.
3. Well why are you still depressed, can’t you just snap out of it?  You cannot choose depression… , and it almost sounds unsympathetic.
4. You should be happy with all you have. The latter has good intentions but is dismissive of their feelings and lived experiences.
5. “It’s all in your head.” It neglects the reality that depression is both a physical and emotional disease.
6. “It’s time to move on. This invalidates the process of recovery, all that hard and gruelling time they put in to get better.
7. “Just try harder.” It’s not exactly a great deal to say all they really need is effort and it will just magically revise the way that you made them feel.
8.  “I completely understand how much that sucks, and it probably feels the same to forgiveness. Depression is different for everyone - listen, not pretend to understand entirely.
9. “You’re just being lazy.” This is especially damaging because it links depression with being unmotivated.
10. Oh, but you look healthy! Not all black holes wear their hearts on their sleeves.

Conclusion

Sensitivity & Tender Care Depression is not something that can be fixed with just a happy face and some effort. By learning what to say, and more importantly not to say you can support them while gaining a better understanding of their experience. The most important however is to be there, and listen in a safe space. So yes, your empathy goes a long way.